Ahaks! Akak terus teringat “KE-MALAYSIA-AN”! Hahahahaha, ko ado!?!
Anyways, entry ini sebenarnye sambungan jew from Akak nye previous posting pasting reminding² sesama kite bagai yer (yes, kali ni dinch ade kaitan dengan TNB yer – thank goodness! Hiks!). And idea serta semangat jayakaminye Akak ni membuak² melalui observarsiyan Akaks petang tadi, from HOME TO THE AIRPORT picking up BBM; while AT THE AIRPORT – waiting hall/ arrivals katanya; and then to complete the journey katanya, mrasa, from THE AIRPORT BACK TO THE HOUSE also got also mende² yang Akak wanna tegur²ans… addin’ to the list yang dosi Akak buat kat dalam entry bawah ni/ previous entry.
Lets get right down to it ya… mrasa!
- Issue SIGNAL kete, kiri kanan bagai tu (kalau previously Akak sentuh bab HAZARD LIGHTS itiew, mrasa kali ni its the typical signal kiri kanan functions tu yang Akak nak sound skets!). Nih! Pengeluar kete, pembuat signal lights itiew, designer asal, engineers bagai semuanya tu, depa pakat buat signal lights and have ‘em fixed kat setiap kete tu, ADO SEBABNYE! Bukan takat untuk pose pose completekan design kete hampa tau! Sia sia kalau ado tapi haram tak guna! Sakit hati aku.
Akak was on the right lane heading towards the airport at a rather normal yet laju la jugak speed katanya. Biasalah, right lane, jalan highway besau, bukannye untuk ko feeling² kura², kan? Citernye kete ni from the left lane, katanya mau memintas potong kete didepannye (FYI – both cars were traveling at a speed where Akak rasa kalu kite kasik cats bercatwalks pon lagi laju ok!)
So anyways, as Akak approaching both cars, particularly, kete Mercedes ape series tah yang maha sial itiew, tetiber, like, tetiberrr jer, dia feels² memotong pintas macam tu jew – no signal no sign² tangan (kot² la dreber tu bangan feels² nak jadik ANTIQUE katanya kan?) no nothing – yillek! NAN ADO! True, distance dia dengan kete Akak relatively selamat la juger, pon begitu, diingatkan disini bahawa Akak sedang diskusi abouts the signal lights, functionsnye yang dinch diambil kire port takdigunakan bagai, and not about the safe-distance between two cars bagai yer.
And then, dah le ko pintas signals haram ko tak kasik, ko boleh drive slow alakadaralamode bagai nih, srupa Akak tak wujuds nih! Being polite Akak dinch la honk bagai, tapi Akak gave the high-beam flash signals, pooon buat tatau ni. Selambe jew drive slow, cakap tepon (mujur dia pakai hands-free kit bagai), sebelah tangan drive, tangan sebelah lagi korek idong! CHOY! Bangsats sangats tau! Driver tu pompuan ka? Laki ka? Cina ka? Melayu ka? Tak pa tak pa. Itu semua tak penting! Please keep your mind to the subject we’re discussing ya! (Driver Cha Ya Nun Alif – Pepets *Notes: Ini tidak sama sekali menunjukkan or referkan Akak as being racist segala bagai yer, mind you please!* OPS! Tadi kata issue race gender si driver tu tak penting, kan? LOL!)
So anyways, kes kes camni yang Akak sentap actually. Kang teraccident terlanggar terbabas terbaaaboooooooo bagai from the back, hah, sah sah Akak jugak yang dipersalahkan, kan!?! Walhal, kalu kite nengok from the start, the root of the problem, sapa punya salah dulu??? YESZA! Tau jawapannye? Pandeiii!!! Tatau??? Hah – pi join pompuan tu korek idung dan pikir ya! NEXT!!!
carsignals.jpg - Canteknyiew kete tiada gunanya kalu tangan instead of digunakan untuk pegang stearing dan kasik signal, digunakan untuk korek idungs! Ops! Matilaakaks! Hahaha!
- Kes culik/ kehilangan anak² perempuan, budak² yang cute mute comel segala bagai (especially, yes, VERY DER especially girls la kan… based on past cases la…) yang diculik dikidnap hilang ghaib lesap hilang camtu jer tanpa any traces tau tau dikerat² 16 disumbat² dalam bag Garfield kepam lasam dan lunyai!…***
childporn.jpg - Akak actually was searching for gambar child-kidnapping bagai, alih2 Akak found this. Good reading material! Mrasalah!
- (***Sambungan from point tadi, just before the show/ hide content toggle itiew!) Okies… now, lets bincangkan – Bageimanerkah semua kes kes colik² ini bisa berlaku? Lets follow this simple ‘real-life’ example yang Akak akan citerkan, yang Akak nengok depan mata Akak sendiri… As Akak dok tunggu BBM to arrive at AOR Airport, and since Akak terforgots to bring my ciggie katanya, mrasalah Akak dok dalam kat arrival hall/ waiting area itiew (kalau idak, mampos Akak nak dok dalam tu ngong sengsorang? Baik dok luar dan isap roks, kan? Hiks!).
And so as Akak duduk tu, depan Akak tu, ade la sorang pompuan, dok dukong sorang baby girl Akak guess guess lam setahun setengah prolly. And with her, also ado lagi 2 kids of hers la kot since depa both dok call ‘Ibu’ bagai kan; the two Akak nengok tak macam jauh perbezaan umurnye – maybe one is 7 or 8 the most, and the other one prolly lam setahun dua younger kot. So ok tak per la. Si ibu tu dok duduk depan Akak, sambil dukong anaknye itiew, while her other two girls dok sebelah dia/ depan Akak, main main sesama depa hang geletek aku aku geletek hang bagai.
Pastu, came the moment when passengers dah mulo nampak batang hedong bagai heading towards the baggage reclaim area. From where Akak was sitting, with these ibu with 3 girls in front ni, kirenye, these people were arriving from my right la kan, di separatekan dengan glass panel and what not, memudahkan meke² yang menyambut ni, terkinja² terlompat² macam kera kena belacan, nengok meke² yang arriving itiew, yang Akak would say, dari luar, nampak macam meke yang di dalam itiew bagaikan kera – ops! Mati la lari topic. Anyways, as this one pax approached the glass panel, yang Akak would guess could only be the father la kot, the ibu yang dari awal lagi sebelum kemunculan the father tu dah pon berdiri tercegat depan glass panel tu, terkinja2 tergedik2 dok ginjat2 nengok cari laki dia kot2 maybe 10 taun tak jumpa! (MOTIF 10 tahun? Habis tu depa buat anak bila? OPS! LARI TOPIC LAGI!)
And while she was busy terkinja2 tu, with the baby girl didukongnye, one of the two girls tu tadi, joined her, but dipisahkan oleh a few 2 3 orang manusia yang sama motifnye dengan si ibu tu, dok terkinja2 nengok cari sape2 je la kan, and the one yang Akak assume eldest tu, the girl, was still in front of Akak, sitting quietly.
Now, looking at the situation, tak ke hampa rasa, the ibu, haram langsung takkan sedaq punye la should one of her girls, either the one sitting in front of Akak, or the one yang kat glass panel looking for her dad tu, gone missing in the wind, kan? Dalam kelam kabut ramai manusia camtu, anything is possible la cik kak (assuming that cik kak reads my blog la kan – hahahaha what are the chances!?! Owh well, if not THAT cik kak, maybe another cik kaks… kan? Hiks!) Dalam sekelip mata hang dok getek looking look look arounds for ur hubby itiew, one of your girls, (mintak simpang lah) if not BOTH of your girls, MUNGKIN akan jadi mangsa culik dan time² hampa sedaq ja anak dah tiada no where near nowhere to be seen segala bagai, ha, mula la kelam kabut hang tau betapa humongous nya donia ini dan betapa kerdilnya hang!
Ha, pastu, tagih, masuk tb (orang2 tua tua kan depa cakap TV tu ala ala TB – kan? Hiks! Bukan Tagboard nah!), nangeh lah depan kamera tu, ayaq mata merambu ramba drama dq bagai, tempek poster sana sini bagai kat tolls everywhere! SUDAH! Time2 camtu, sudah tiada makna tak ade artinya lagi! Yang awai2 sebelum menda ni semua terjadi berlaku, awat yang hang tak jaga perhatikan nengok anak2 hampa pi mana dok mana dengan sapa segala bagai, KAN!?! Akak cukup pantang tau dengan senario ni! Sakit hati ado, irritated katenye yer… Yer la. Kalu diculik dalam kes2 yang memang bebetul2 kes kes culik pro la kan, Akak tak kisah. Ini, ha, kes kes kalu keculikkan itiew happened macam time2 tadi kat airport tu, korang nak marah Akak ke kalau Akak lempang jer mak pak budak tu? Silap2 hampa pun join Akak lempang sekali mak pak bebudaks itiew. Macam Akak dok sound kat si Comelgirl semalam kots, tah, rasenye la, time tu Akak tgh naik hantian dengan si Comel lah, dok meroyan nak cikneks la tu! (OPS!!!), Akak sound dia, which I think, applicable kat ppl like si ‘Ibu’ tadi kat airport tu…
“HAH! TIME BUAT ANAK, PANDAI! TIME NAK JAGA, HAPRAK! CHAIT!”
Ok, now, NEXT – (Aiyoh! Penats sundels! Lama sunggoh Akak tak berblogging lagu ni, kan? LOL!)
- Kes ke-third katanya… while on the way back home from the airport… errr… jap jap. What happened eh!?! AIYOH! I hate this tau! Elok² ade 3 idea, tapi gara² dok tabur curahkan segalanya untuk the first 2 points, now Akak dosi terlupa what was the final point Akak supposed to kasiktau sharing is caring tatau… OWH, yes, ingat dah! Hiks! Tema-nya… “JALANMU? DINCH! JALAN AKU LA!” kaedahnye… Yesza, ini kes lite² sugi kesamaannye dengan “Barang aku, barang aku. Barang kau, barang aku jugak” kes la kirenye, cume kali ni, yang dijadikan issuenye ialah – JALAN. Yesza, jalanraya katanya…
Mrasalah tadi sampai kat this one crossroad, kaedahnye, ALL traffic lights ala ala stopped working nih, and kena pulak time² tu, after-office hours, ha kau! Mrasalah, from all four roads katenye, kete berpusu² coba passing through, gile punye long queue nih! All because, kat tengah² traffic lites itiew, yes yes, kat area kotak KUNING itiew yer, takder something. Something? Something whats? Tiang traffic light? HOI! Asalnye pun memang mana ada tiang satu tengah² itiew! Hiks! Yang tiadanye ialah, (mintak makhap la ‘Dato’ berbaju uniform putih hitam berboot kilats bagai ni), men yang often we call ‘em as “Mat Pacak”? Haiyoh! Polis trapik la! Dan bile takder polis trafik itiew, maka, hah, semuanye nak gi dulu, takder sape yang nak give way katenye, mrasalah, JAM BUTTER KAYA PEANUTBUTTER JELLY segala bagai kat tgh² itiew! Hang nak pi dulu, aku nak pi dulu jugak, last last, SANGKUT! Tahniah!!!
Dalam kes² camni, cuba² la bawak bertenang dan give la sekali dua lalu kete dihadapan/ kiri kanan anda – remember, for things to change, we must change FIRST, kan? (sambil Akak membelokkan kete Akak masuk ikut jalan alternative, some 100/ 200 meters away dari tapak lokasi kejadian itiew, escaping the horrifying moments of jammenations to the glory agapagargotongroyongs! OPS!)
Mujur ade jalan alternative back to umah Akak. If Akak had to go through that jammenations itiew, haiyoh, mrasalah Akak terus naik kebumbung beemer Akak itiew, lalu lepaskan ikatan rambut Akak sambil biarkan ia mengurai² berkepok² curly² wavy, libas sekali dua, dan terus, “RED BLOODED WOMAN” satu kaliii!!! (mati la feeling tak sudah², kansss??! HAHAHA!)
trafficjam.jpg - Alternative hebats, don't you think so? Hahahahaha!!!
Ha, dah ler! The end! Habisdah! Hiks!
Driver tu mesti ingat keta yang dia pandu tu ada kuasa mistik yang boleh baca pikiran dia dan terus bagi signal secara automatic.
Tak pon keta mahal ni, dia letak batang signal tu kat tempat yang pelik pelik (ajaran sesat
)
JohnJenin: Uncle arrr! (I think i’ll call u uncle lah. Senang nak differenciate kan antara 2 pakciks katanya – mrasalah kW menten gelaran title Pakcik diblog iniew – LOL!) Uncle! U srupa tau tau ja kan all these ajaran2 ilmu2 baru sesats. Meh la sharing is caring. Batang signal tu depa letak mana kat lam klas hampa? Klass kami depa ajaq batang signal tu belah kanan, belah kiri wiper (matila keta kontinentals – feeling kuat nih! LOL!)
PS: Yang sebetul2nya, ajaran sesats uncle adalah the word “BATANG” signal itiew! Mai kot mana depa panggil batang signal? Kami tak penah belajaq pon??? OPS!
sign sign old age catching up nie…
*sambil cari pattern baju kurung*
Volksie: Aiks? Speaking from experience eh??? OPS! *sambil carik kancing baju melayu telok belanga buat yiew… mati la adakah I TIPAH? Hahahaha!
pacify urself with the thought that ppl with big cars do not have the same sized brains to match them n there will be idiots to make the world equal. the next is help keep a lookout for the kids when u can cos they r the innocent party. it was irresponsible for the parents to have so many kids if they can’t cope and maybe it will be karma if they lose 1,2 or 3, ‘cruel but true’.lastly, no point having the same mentality as the othr drivers, let them get stuck in trafik, courtesy on the road is long gone, u did the rite thing by going about ur other way to reach hope, DEFINITELY the best way to avoid stress.
kenneth: Hahahah tapi tetap, sampai2 umah jer, i tetap tensi stressy bagai, how? LOL!
PS: u cakap pasai ppl with big cars dont have same brain size, teringat pulak I tentang people of higher ranks/ status majority have small balls? OPS! Mati la katanya, GOLF! Hahaha!
dun knw abt u but wat i do is terus have home made hydroterapi. on shower n duduk kat bawa shower n think of myself on holiday kat Bali ke!, Krabi ke! Seychelles ke! n i rasa so relax sampai bole nak tidor pulak…try it!…works 4 me.
Kenneth: Errr lagi la tensi sebab tidak menjadi realiti, hanye dalam mainan angan2 dan dibawah simbahan mr. sho saje… hiks!
Just received this email from my ex-mrsm group mail->
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From: kamarul@mmcogel.com.my
Date: 6/23/2009 4:19:58 PM
To: pondokupeh96@yahoogroups.com
Subject: [pondokupeh96] Fw: Mohon bantuan mencari kanak2 hilang… Please help us find these kids. [4 Attachments]
Nadia Natasha 8 tahun dan Ahmad Zakry 10 tahun, telah hilang dari rumah
di Sri Putramas, Jalan Kuching, KL pada 22 Jun 2009. Kali terakhir
dilihat pada jam 7 malam 22 Jun. Sebarang info sila hubungi Puan Miza di
013-345 5661. Terima kasih.
Nadia Natasha 8 yrs and Ahmad Zakry 10 yrs were missing since 22nd June
2009, last seen at Sri Putramas, Jalan Kuching, KL at 7pm. Please call
Puan Miza at 013-345 5661 if you have any information. Thank you.
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See!? Baru jer Akak dok sebot2… katanya…